Marriage Counseling and “One Flesh”

One Flesh and Conflict

Wife: “Why didn’t you have dinner ready when I got home? We’re going to be late for the party.”

Husband: Sorry for working so we can eat!

And the conflict continues…

You hear the words “One flesh” at weddings, church, bible studies, etc; you may even talk about it with your couple friends, but not really sure what this means for you and your spouse. So then, how does “one flesh” apply, especially in conflict?

Take the example above. Why didn’t the husband have dinner ready? I’m sure they communicated or texted about having it ready earlier that day. The point is, the husband did not have dinner ready at a time early enough so they could be at the party on time. If the spouses communicated and agreed for dinner to be ready at 5:45, and the husband didn’t have it ready, then he is in the wrong.

Married and One Flesh Behavior

The husband responded to his wife in a way that said, “I provide (i.e. two flesh) so we can have food on the table.” Notice the husband did not apologize to his wife. Asking for forgiveness is a “one flesh” behavior. The husband, being defensive in this context is functioning out of a “two flesh” behavior in the moment. It is true that the husband provides for the family but his motive for saying, “Sorry for working so we can eat,” was a way for him to defend his own flesh (two flesh).

As shared above, we don't see forgiveness in the context. Experientially speaking, what happens whenever you forgive your spouse? You feel closer, as opposed to distant, and experientially one flesh. You may even engage in sex, which is a oneness behavior. You will also more than likely experience closeness with God; As believers, we are one with Him (Ephesians 5:31,32) too.

Questions to consider:

Do you see yourself as the spouse who takes care of the kids? Do you see yourself as the spouse who makes money for the family? Would you fall back on these (two flesh) in conflict?

Cowtown Christian Counseling serves Fort Worth with counseling from a Christian perspective.  Marriage Counseling will help each spouse learn to be one flesh together. Check out more marriage related blogs here.