Marriage Counseling and “One Flesh”
Wife: “Why didn’t you have dinner ready when I got home? We’re going to be late for the party.”
Husband: Sorry for working so we can eat!
And the conflict continues…
You hear the words “one flesh” at weddings, church, bible studies, etc; you may even talk about it with your couple friends but not really sure what this means for you and your spouse. So, how does “one flesh” apply, especially in conflict?
Take the example above. Why didn’t the husband have dinner ready? I’m sure they communicated or texted about having it ready earlier that day. The point is, the husband did not have dinner ready at a time early enough so they could be at the party on time. If the spouses communicated and agreed for dinner to be ready at 5:45 and the husband didn’t have it ready, then he is in the wrong.
The husband responded to his wife in a way that said, “I provide (two flesh) so we can have food on the table.” Notice the husband did not apologize to his wife. Asking for forgiveness is a “one flesh” behavior. The husband, being defensive in this context is functioning out of a “two flesh” behavior in the moment. It is true that the husband provides for the family but his motive for saying, “Sorry for working so we can eat,” was a way for him to defend his own flesh (two flesh) instead of function as one flesh through asking for forgiveness.
Questions to consider:
Do you see yourself as the spouse who takes care of the kids? Would you fall back on this (two flesh) in conflict?
What parts of your marriage do you function and see yourself as “two flesh” instead of “one flesh?” ( finances, family and activities therein, church, friends, sex, etc.)
Cowtown Christian Counseling serves Fort Worth with counseling from a Christian perspective. Check out more marriage related blogs here.