Parenting And Being an Example To Your Children

Fathers And Mothers Can Be Like Jesus As Well As Lead Children to Need Jesus

I tend to cringe when I hear the phrase, “Being an example.” Maybe it’s because I liken the phrase to maintaining an image, a position at work, or a role in a family. Parents, what kind of example are you to your children? Take a minute to think about this.

Romans 3:10 states, “There is none righteous, no, not one.” Later, verses 22 and 23 state, “Even the righteousness of God, through faith in Jesus Christ, to all and on all who believe. For there is no difference; for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

Hebrews 4:14-16 states, "Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."

Jesus is more perfect (in that he never sinned) than you, father and mother. Yet Jesus sympathizes with our weaknesses as we see in Hebrews 4:15 above. This sympathetic disposition encourages us to have confidence to approach him when we have need to. Fathers and mothers, you can be like Jesus, sympathizing with your children in their weaknesses, as well as leading them to approach Jesus for grace.

Christian Parents Are Examples of Needing Jesus To Their Children

You and your children both sin. There is no difference as shared above in Romans chapter 3. Therefore, you both have the same need, the righteousness of God. At best, parents are an example of ‘need for righteousness’ and at worst, ‘examples of sin’.

Parents may primarily function as examples of morality to their kids too. When parents function mainly out of morality, or trying to obey God, then they tend to hide their own personal sin struggles with their children, and sometimes with each other, too. A child may see their parent(s) as someone to hide from when the parents' morality is the primary example displayed, unfortunately. How do you know if you mainly display this to your children? Well, if your son or daughter does wrong, and you come off as surprised, "I can't believe she would do that!" Then the focus is more on the child’s wrongdoing than their (child’s) need to approach Jesus. As a Christian parent, you are an example of needing Jesus and His righteousness to your children, more than being a moral example.

Some parents function mainly as an example of sin to their son or daughter when confronting him or her's wrongdoing. For example, when a child does something wrong, then this parent may be quick to speak, slow to listen, and quick to get angry (i.e., sin). In other words, the parent sins against their child while disciplining them. If this is habitual, then you, as the father or mother, may not recognize your own need for Jesus, rather express a continual desire for your children to improve morally. The focus is more on the child’s wrongdoing than on your need for righteousness.

Christian Parents Are An Example of Both Obeying God and Repentance Of Sin

Parents who function primarily as examples of need for righteousness will display both an example of repentance from sin and obedience to God to their children. You will need Jesus for both obeying God and repentance from sin, and therefore will be an example of both of these to your family. For instance, when you display repentance of self-righteousness more than self-righteousness, then you are displaying to your children your need for Jesus and his righteousness, his grace.

Repentance and relationship go hand-in-hand whenever you display a need for Jesus. For example, when your child does something wrong, you can empathize because you have been there too. You have struggled with that sin before; it's easier to listen now, too, as you know you are more like your child in regard to needing Jesus, like Hebrews 4:15 states above. You are now building a relationship with your son or daughter in the midst of discipline when you do these things, as there is a confidence that they can approach you now, because your kids know that you are more like them than different.

Be encouraged. When you do the things stated above, you will have a relationship with your child, as the focus is on the child’s wrongdoing and on his need for righteousness from Jesus, because he sees you do the same.

Questions to consider:

1. Which example does my spouse tend to think I function more out of: morality, sin, or need for righteousness?

2. Which example do my children tend to think I function more out of: morality, sin, or need for righteousness?

Cowtown Christian Counseling serves Fort Worth with family counseling from a Christian perspective. If you are struggling with the parenting topics discussed in this blog and would like help, then please reach out. We would love to work with you. If you would like to read similar blog posts, then check out our relationship blogs.